The last year has taught more lessons than I can remember ever having learnt. Ironically, the face of death has taught me more about that of life. I’ve watched my parents become more frail from ageing, even fighting for life on a couple of occasions; I’ve also seen young, healthy people not get a chance at that fight. I’ve seen things come to an abrupt halt, in a matter of a second and in mid-conversation with life and these experiences have changed me and the way I’ve begun to relate to life. I sometimes wonder if it might be easier to simply close my eyes to it all, searching for that bliss in ignorance.
A few weeks ago my father told me he doesn’t feel as energetic as he used to. And I hadn’t even noticed that! I look for ways to escape from all this and find myself preferring the company of strangers over that of people I know - strange as it may seem, the unfamiliar comforts me more than the familiar. I spend more time filling up the pages in my old diary, my handwriting getting shaky as I do so, I work on a puzzle everyday and read a little more. Believing I don’t know makes me feel more powerful with the intent to know than believing I do and I slowly give into the vulnerabilities of ignorance with the hope of being able to read more, learn more and experience more. I’ve began to note down memories I’ve created with those who have loved me as a way of leaving something behind after I’m gone. And I try to fill in as much happiness in a minute as possible!
My conversations with strangers are more amusing than those I have with known people. I guess it’s because there are no expected conclusions to the conversations, so I can just be myself! I jot down these interactions, giving these strangers names of people/characters I might have loved to meet in my lifetime - Mr. Bond, Mr. Shaw, Mr. Holmes, Ms. Julie Delpy or even Mr. Fawad Khan!!
Here’s one from the 5th of July:
With Mr. Gumshuda -
Just as I got home this afternoon, a man on a motorbike asked me for directions to a residence in the layout. He said he was going around in circles and wasn't able to locate the address.(Seemed a lot like me, so I could quite empathise with him!)
I asked him if he had the name of the person or the house number; he gave me the name of the resident but given how reclusive I am, the name just didn't ring a bell. Then he tried giving me clues - "It has a view of the 'gere'", he said. I smiled, confused at first, and then realising he meant 'kere', since we have a lake on one side, noting that the man was either a Malayali (no offence meant), or, he had a bad cold!
"You mean ' kere'", I corrected.
"Yes, yes!", he said, assuming that that was the best clue.
So I gave him directions to get to the houses along the lake and asked him to try his luck.
"But, it could also be the other side, in which case you'll have to come back to the this point and take a right", I offered.
"You mean ' kere'", I corrected.
"Yes, yes!", he said, assuming that that was the best clue.
So I gave him directions to get to the houses along the lake and asked him to try his luck.
"But, it could also be the other side, in which case you'll have to come back to the this point and take a right", I offered.
He turned his bike and told me, "this is like taking an exam. where you count 1..2...3 and mark the third one!"
It took me a second to understand that he meant how he would guess the answer in a multiple choice exam.!
As he drove off showing me the 'thumbs-up', I yelled back: "Did you pass your exams.?"
"Yes!", he yelled in response.
"Then you'll find the house!", I responded a little louder so he could hear me.
He looked back, smiled and drove off…
(end of conversation)
And this from the 23rd of August (a translation of my conversation in Kannada:
With Mr. Gowda -
“Why do you deliver the paper so late?, I asked.”It’s already 7:45 a.m. and half the day is done!”
“Where, madam, it’s still so early in the day!”, he responds, suppressing a yawn.
“That does not answer my question!”, I say, expecting an honest explanation, but going on, nonetheless. “It’s important to know the news first thing in the morning.”
“Why, madam, are you a politician or a celebrity? They are the ones who are interested in knowing what the media thinks of them.”
“Ah, so isn’t it important for ordinary people to know what’s happening in the world, the weather forecast, in case I need to carry an umbrella..?”
“Madam, you can read all that online, no?”
“Thanks for your suggestion! But why do you come so late?”
“I sleep late in the night, madam, and so I find it difficult waking up early in the morning..”
“Why do you sleep late - don’t you know sleeping early is good for health? Besides, when you know you have to deliver paper early in the morning, shouldn’t you be responsible enough to sleep early?”, I rattle off, knowing fully well that it wasn’t any of my business.
“Watching TV, madam!”
“Hmm..And what do you watch?”
“News, madam!”
(end of conversation)
(end of conversation)
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