Designing the Perfect Beauty

A few months back a friend had told me that she noticed that I rarely ever 

comment on a persons physical appearance but never fail to compliment a person on their ideas, thoughts, intelligence, actions or attitude. I did think about what she said and realised that she was right because I never ever comment on how my nieces look, but I do compliment them on an intelligent thought, or a kind gesture.

In these times when social media influences the life-choices we make, and our own self-image, our impression of people, unfortunately, remains merely shallow, being restricted to its two-dimensions. Studies reveal that it is this trend that has lead to an unhealthy quest for being that ‘perfect’ beauty to garner ‘likes’ to a picture posted on social media platforms. And when our youngsters are falling prey to this trend, facing psychological issues, body shaming and suffering from diseases such as anorexia to have that ‘perfect’ body, we have only ourselves to blame and hold responsible. 

Sridevi’s untimely demise has opened a pandoras box on the stress that public personalities face in keeping up with an image that the public demands. Or is it they who are to blame for setting unrealistic standards of beauty, for themselves, and the public who begin to emulate them? Interestingly, Sridevi’s niece, Sonam Kapoor, had written a wonderful article on what it takes to be that ‘perfect’ beauty. More recently, Camila Medes’s confession on the reason she’s done with dieting is such a welcome point of view for our young girls who starve themselves to attain that body that isn’t naturally meant to be. 

Recently, Shobhaa De and Hema Malini had talked at length on how lovely it is being 70. Sure it is! The one objection I took to what Hema Malini had said at that interview is - “When I was young I thought, if I live to be 80, I’d be wrinkled and shrivelled. But I don’t feel like that woman from my nightmare!” My mother is 74 now; she is grey and has those lovely wrinkles that come with age. She is a grandmother, too. And she is the most beautiful woman I’ve seen! 

Celebrities making such irresponsible statements create, in the minds of people, unrealistic images of ageing. Which brings me to the life that the ethereal Suchitra Sen had wanted to live post retiring from cinema. She refused to be in the limelight, probably understanding that she wouldn’t pander to the demands of the public that don’t seem to accept a grey, wrinkled actress as pretty. When she died, her family ensured that her wish to stay away from the public glare was respected. 

Many Indian, and foreign, celebrities are believed to have gone under the knife to attain the perfect look - a nose job, botox jabs to smooth the wrinkles, enhancements to have that sensuous pout and breasts…the list is endless. But in this process of playing God, there is a huge price to pay: of the toxins that the body is taking in internally so as to appear pretty externally. Who is to blame for all this, then - the celebrities, the public or the huge cosmetic and beauty industry that defines the characteristics of beauty? 

The sad part is that we are surrendering to someone else’s idea of beauty that comes with a huge ulterior motive. Just imagine where the industry might be if we didn’t care about developing those lovely crow’s feet, smile lines and greys or  having that full body! 

As a society, we need to be more responsible in the choices we make and in our expectations of ourselves and others. It’s okay to not have your hair pulled in place with brushes and a blow of hot air, it’s okay to have those greys peek from behind a a mop of hair, it’s perfect to have those fine lines give away your age. Lets not push our children to believing in misplaced ideas of beauty. We need to tell our children that it’s the mind and heart that matters and that doesn’t get displayed in a two-dimensional picture. Most importantly, we need to let them know that it’s important to be healthy in mind, spirit and body and not get taken in by anyone else’s idea of beauty.